Sunday, December 13, 2009
I also miss my Dad terribly around this time. I always tried to make his holidays special. After he and my Mom divorced the holidays took a toll on him. I miss him so much but I know he is no longer in pain in this world but at peace in the next.
And last....I want to give some of you hope out there. Anyone who may be reading this and suffering with infertility. In the beginning of November I sent some left-over meds to someone about to cycle. She seems to be the epitome of strength. At 42, trying for a child for 15 years. Onto her third IVF. Only this time she was vigilant with her own care and made suggestions to the her RE, different meds, a different protocol. And just this last week her second Beta came back positive over 230! So ladies, do not give up on your dream. I am so happy for her and her husband. She has some hurdles to get over but the main was has been jumped and cleared! May God bless all of you with your dream come true....baby dust and God Bless!
Sunday, November 15, 2009
1) In an effort to give back and do something to show my gratitude to the universe for the gift I have been given, I donated my last remaining meds to a fellow sista in need. My first thought was to try an r-coup some of the thousands of dollars we spent on them. But that was fleeting, immediately I thought to donate. So I am keeping a close eye on my donation praying it brings her the same happiness and joy it did me.
2)Family-My brother has successfully made it through Navy boot camp and "A" School. He graduated with a 97.5 and was allowed to pick his station for the next 2 years. He is currently in Mirimar California, yes where they filmed Top Gun!!! He is doing better than I could have prayed for! And my sister, inspire3d by my brother and his accomplishment at 33 years of age has joined the Army. Yes (Tobes)you read that right. And because of her aptitude testing and schooling she already has, she is slated for a very high level position as well as potential Officer Candidate School. I am blown away and beyond words how proud I am of her. Her technical job title will be "Patriot Missle Launch Technician". So proud....which brings me to my next selfless act for this year. To support my Brother and Sister in their endeavours I am looking to join the USO or some kind of support for the military. They are doing their part I will do mine.
3) Last Thursday we found out we were having a BOY. It is what I have always dreamed of, imagined, longed for, wished for. I have always wanted a little boy to share with my husband, that when I looked into his his sweet young eyes I could see my husband staring back at me. Yes, the best Thanksgiving ever.
4)My wonderful support team, my dear friends. On Friday I received the sweetest package from one of my dearest friends. My first "baby" gifts. And the coolest Longhorns Onesie!!! Without their support through the last couple of years I am not sure where I would be. So thank you!!
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
See you back here on Thursday to see what we are having!!!
Friday, October 9, 2009
On Wednesday I woke up at 2am with some pain in the lower right side, and it was not going away. By 9 I was concerned. I called the OB's office and asked if they would see me Wednesday instead of today. They got me in within the hour and I saw the midwife, I told her about the pain and started looking for the heartbeat. Tooak a couple of minutes but she found Bubsy....lower right side! And I told her it felt almost like an ovarian cyst pain, and she laughed she said," the baby found a toy to play with your ovaries! " And after that I been feeling movement ever since. Mainly at night. So beautiful and amazing. I get dizzy thinking about how my wildest dream is just about to come true!
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
Might be time to turn this into a pregnancy after infertility blog!!! And god willing...a Mommy after pregnancy after infertility blog!! Baby Dust to all who need it! My thoughts are with you that there is an end to your journey!
Sunday, August 30, 2009
It does not come easy, the worrying never stops. Is everything ok? I don't feel as nauseous as I did yesterday, what does that mean? Is my stomach changing? It is a constant battle to keep these thoughts from taking over. I thank God every day for another pregnant day and pray that little bubs is doing ok. I used to go on and on about how I wanted a boy. Now I don't even care, I just want healthy....me and bubs. I am going t throw the worrying away tomorrow and just enjoy my 9 week 4 day tummy!
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
It truly is so surreal to say to myself....."You're Pregnant!". So far enjoying every second!
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
So lesson learned do not wait until the last minute to re-order! And it sounds like I am on this stuff for the next 7-8 weeks. Another weird thing...she told me not to make my OB appointment until after August 25th. That I would be 6-7 weeks by then. I thought by August 21st I would be 8 weeks according to some online calculators I found. So now I am altogether confused. So my first OB appointment is August 31st, my Birthday! What a special present to myself!!! so needless to say I am thoroughly looking forward to my birthday.
The Birthday that held so much meaning for me. The Big 35. 35, when eggs start to shrivel up, fertility starts to wash away that number petrified me for many years. yes I dreaded it, it had so much meaning for me. Meant a point of no return. And now I cannot wait for it! Funny how things change. I feel so wonderful right now, I want to bottle this and take it with me everywhere! And I love that I have followers!! I started this because I was inspired by some fabulous woman out there who never gave up on a dream. The dream to be a Mom. And I hope I gave some of what I got back to some of you! Thank you for sharing this with me!!! And to what is to come.........To Be Continued.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Thank you for everyone who has been following this, and PLEASE if you take anythign away from me know that it CAN HAPPEN! Never lose faith or hope. I never did and got through it all.
I still want to keep my Blog. So please keep reading if you like!!
I have sort of run out of Progesterone also, I have 2 pills reamining and I am using them sparingly. yesterday instead of 3x I took them 2x hopefully that will be ok. I mean it is a 200mg dose. They are coming in tomorrow morning so fingers crossed it will be ok. So feeling pretty good, I finally went to the bathroom yesterday! geez, you don't miss that until it's gone ha! so like I said I am feeling ery pregnant these days and can only hope the test today shows that!
Sending tons of baby dust to all you ladies out there!!! God Bless~
Friday, July 24, 2009
Again, thank you for all the positive thoughts!
I am so nervous, thank you all so much for all the well wishes. Nothing but a waiting game at this point. I am beyond nervous. Thank you so much for all the wonderful posts!! Should know something in about 4 hours......uhg.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
I swear I do not know how to get a really good picture of these tests!!! My camera keeps whiting everything out so please forgive me for my sucky pictures! Ok so this is yesterday's test, at first I was panicked because I thought is should be darker, but I guess not??? When I got the test home and compaired it to the rest it is definitely darker than the other 2 positive ones. The first started with just a skinny pink line, the second a little thicker and this one from yesterday was a full thick pink line. I ran around the house boat asking everyone to look at it. I am super uber nervous for the Beta tomorrow. This test does look pretty nice in person. And because I know too much and read too much of course I am worried about the obvious chemical pregnancy, or Etopic that is usually what the lack of dark lines mean. But I have to say when I line them up they seem to graduate nice, also I drank a gallon and a half of water in 2 days...drinking lots. So that has to affect it right???? I just need to make it through the next 24 hours!
Dear Lord, please let this be real and not a fleeting glimpse of what could be. Please let this be as real as the line I see. Please stay little babie/s. I love you already and want you so bad, please don't go.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Symptom watch: not that it matters or anything some cramping and I cannot breathe to save my life. I am so stuffy sans these lovely progesterone suppositories. And the Estrogen patches are itching the shit out of me. It will all be worth it.....please let there be something cooking in here 8-(
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
7 days past the trigger I took a test as reference for next week and it was a nice positive, and I almost started to fake myself into thinking I could be preggers already! Driving myself nuts a bit I think. Today is only 3dp3dt I have never heard of a positive that early.
So hubby has the right idea. expect the worst and if something else happens then awesome! Until then he and I are playing a fun game..."what we will do if we are not pregnant". So far on the list....
1) Sell the house and buy a horse farm/ranch
2)Anguilla for the next Jimmy Buffet concert
3) Buy a house boat (his whish haha)
4) Plastic surgery (Lipo...my wish 8-)
5) Breed Golden Retrievers
So we are passing the time adding to the list. he figures if he does this I will not go crazy at the prospect of no heirs to the family name. And I guess it could work. We shall see.
So if any of you out there reading this.....have any experience with the post-IVF body functions...please drop me a line!!! I would love to know more.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
I came home to a wonderful dinner and a dozen long stem roses. Now we are back to nature taking it's course and I am ok with that. I am ok with whatever happens in the next 12 days. And for shits and giggles I bought a pineapple. Here goes nothing!! And as hubby said, it is up to Mother Nature...let's hope we tipped her enough.
Thank you all for all your encouragement, this has tested my strength and the person I am. I am thrilled for it to be over and the waiting game begins. I am keeping level headed about everything and not thinking too far ahead. Thank you for reading my rants and for your support.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Doctor called. Of the 12- 1 had no egg, 1 was immature. 4 did not fertilize 4 fertilized. So out of my 12 I have 4 growing. he said one was mis-shapened but nothing he is concerned about. He also said that the source of my issues could very well stem from poor egg quality. He said the Zona on mine were a little weird. And could be the issue, how they get around that is the Assisted Hatching. So I am afraid there will be nothing to freeze and I am ok with that. I do not think I could go through again. Whatever will be will be. I am hoping for good news Sunday, that we get 2 nice embies for transfer. Time will Tell....tomorrow might be the longest day ever.
well, what an experience Retrieval as. I was scared out of my mind! The anesthesiologist was amazing. very delicate and caring. Explained everything he was doing and that helped. The nurse and the Doc enter the room and I see the syringe go into my IV and instantly I get tingly....nice. And I guess at that moment I said something to the effect of" Wow, Michael Jackson had the right idea...." and BOOM out like a light. before I knew it I was awake and the procedure was over. Really?? That is it?? OK. I survived!!! yes, I had anxiety I would be one of those people who never woke up due to some accidental circumstances. Overactive imagination, if you will. The nurse was asking me if I remebered what I said, and told me I was hysterical and had them all cracking up.
So I was ready to go in 5-10 minutes ready to get dressed. The pain was not that horrible. Just really bad cramps that went away with some ibuprofen. Before we left the Nurse told us how many we got.....and we got 12!! I am beyond happy. I was not expecting that at all. In fact, I purposely was thinking a lower number and just going to be happy with 6 or 7. 12 was beyond my expectations. I think all the good eating I have been doing paid off!!! Now BRING ON THE PINEAPPLE!!!!
Today I am waiting for the fertility report. Nurse will be calling sometime today to let me know quality and what is growing, transfer day, and all that jazz. So I am calmly waiting for that. (Sort of Calmly....ha!) Today I am feeling ok, started Progesterone. Last night I woke up a lot to pee and holy christmas the gas is unreal. Ha! Thank goodness I have a cube far away. That seems to be my only discomfort. I feel 10 pounds lighter after the retrieval. So cheers....here is to my little babies cooking 400 miles away! come on my little blobs....you can do it I want you so bad I can taste it. So close! So close to all those wonderful things....baby clothes, diapers, cribs, the smell of baby. So close!!!!!
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Dr said that of the 10 he would expect 7-or so eggs. He also said that if that were the case he would ICSI them all and call me on Friday for a fertility report.
We can expect transfer Saturday, Sunday or Tuesday. I would be a big fan of not having to take another day off work that is for sure. I can not believe it is here, finally here. All my hopes and dreams hang on these next few days. I feel mysteriously calm. I think because I know I have absolutely no control of this situation. I am hoping for the best. So far nurse and the Dr seem to think everything is going well, slow ans steady wins the race....quality over quantity.
Trigger tonight, retrieval is Thursday morning. Grammy, Dad send me a baby. I have been so patient. I want to be a Mommy. I want to give all my love away and see my husband in his eyes. Send me an angel/angels. Miss you both.
Monday, July 6, 2009
I am trying to relax but my husband has already stirred the pot on that one. I just keep saying to myself that this will all be over soon and no more missing work. ( We are laying a bunch of people off this week so it is really un-nerving to miss any work this week.)
I emailed my boss and all he knows is I am having an in office surgery procedure I am sure that will be fine. Gee whiz....can you tell I am Catholic?? DO I carry enough guilt around or what???
Hopefully a better update tomorrow!
Friday, July 3, 2009
4 Follicles -sizes 11,10,10,10
Left Ovary: (Working over-time for Team Baby)
10 Follicles- Sizes
That is impressive! I guess that is why I feel like I am carrying around 2 bowling balls. They will grow to about 18-20mm and then they are ready to go. In fact I am going back Monday morning for the last sono. Nurse thinks I will be ready to trigger (ovulate) on Monday night no shots Tuesday YAY and then retrieval on Wednesday! I cannot believe this will be over in 4 days!!! This really is better than I hoped for I was prepaired for anything and I think that helped. I have also been SO GOOD eating wise and laying off the beer (so hard to do in the summer on the boat but it is for a good cause ha). So that is it. One major hurdle has been cleared. The next will be to see how many are actually viable eggs. I know 14 does not really mean 14 I am prepaired for 75% to be usable and of those 50% will fertilize. I think if I keep level headed and realistic anything more will be a BONUS!! Now I am off to put my feet up, Ovaries are sore!
Thursday, July 2, 2009
I have been eating all Organic this week. And whole dairy, eggs=eggs. So I stocked up on the Eggland's Best. Trying to be real good, drinking my powerade. Not much else I can do at the moment but hold my breath until tomorrow! Oh please, please,please let there be some good things going on in there!!!!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
So I will breath easy after Friday's appointment, Nurse Ratchet will be able to give me an idea of when retrieval will be after seeing how I am responding to the meds.
And a recap on the meds:
150 IU Follistim
Tonight will be my last PM shot then I am down to just morning shots. Unless Friday finds me not responding to the meds and I might be back. We will see!!!!
Friday, June 26, 2009
It is so hard not to skip ahead and start thinking about all the wonderful "baby" things I could buiy, or how we would tell family. I seriously had to picture myself pushing those thoughts out of my head. Just like Adelle says..."I build my self up, and fly around in circles waiting as my heart drops..." And that is what I do time and time again. I imagine all these wonderful things and scenarios only to be utterly dissapointed in the end. so there is a fine line between being hopeful and positive and setting oneself up for a hard fall. I can only stand by and watch as if this is someone else's journey and wait to see what happens.
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next. Amen."
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Well, so yesterday's appointment went VERY well. Nurse Ratchet and I made up. She has given me the green light to start my stim meds! I start this Saturday, go back for stim check on July 3rd, back again July 6th. And retrieval is somewhere between July 8th-10th. That is like 2 weeks away! I freaked out a little thinking about just how close I am to what I have DREAMED of for so long! So many emotions. Scared, excited. I am trying to keep my composure and not jump ahead of myself. Concentrate on today and not 2 weeks from now. Take it as it comes and not jump ahead. It feels so real right now, and that is more than I have had in last 4 years! I am cautiously hopeful.
And our deal is if this does not work I get a puppy and he gets a house boat. We will drowned our sorrows in material things. Well, sort of I will get to breed Goldens. So just in case I have already started looking at Golden Retrievers in the area.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
When you think about how many people you know who have difficulty getting pregnant it is amazing that any of us are here to begin with. Back in the 1800's they barely had medicine...let alone any of the modern conveniences we have today. But people got pregnant and delivered babies. Now a days it seems like a common thing to know someone with fertility issues. I envy those lucky people who do not have to spend money to have a baby. OK...off on a tangent...ha!
More on Wednesday after RE visit! Peace out.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Day 3 of the Lupron and so far not too many side affects just an upset tummy.
I am just amazed at how calm and collected I feel. And there really is no other way to do this. I am staying away from anything anxiety related and just going to go one day at a time. All you can do......
Sunday, June 14, 2009
I feel better now I guess, it's out there and now I just have to move on and see what happens. Later......the obligatory "meds" photo. Yes, I will dazzle you with my meds! Scary.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
So just some food for thought I guess. I am trying to be patient but this is getting really annoying. Nothing I can do for now, next appointment is next Saturday. At least I do not have to use any more vacation time for these visits. She said she can work me in on the weekends now. So we shall see what happens...more next week as the saga continues!
Grant me strength!
Monday, June 1, 2009
So I got there and they did a sonogram and it showed a pesky residual cyst. Apparently very common and very annoying. It pushes everything back a week. So no meds were started yet and I have to go back this Friday to see if it is gone. Now the "old me" might have been devastated and cried and carried on yet another set back. BUT I was not! No why, you ask?? BECAUSE I PAID!!! That is right, in my mind I have gotten further than I ever had before! Sure I would have like to start the meds but the nurse explained how important it is to shrink this little bugger and start with some fresh healthy ovaries. So I am eating well this week, maintain my work out routine all in the hopes of shrinking this rock in road!
Also hoping that work does not start to ask why am I constantly out......So here is to a good and fast week and Cyst-free Friday! Woo Hoo!!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Tomorrow is my second appointment in North Carolina. I will leave around 6:30-7am. I believe tomorrow is the Saline Sonogram and meds class! Hopefully I will get an idea of what the next 2 weeks will look like medication wise and travel wise. I will have to go back at least 2 times I think for monitoring. So it all starts tomorrow! Holy cow!!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
So imagine the JOY I had when my first batch of meds were completly covered under insurance? I felt like I won the lottery! These meds usually run anywhere from $2,000-$4,000. My new Doctor has gone through my vast collection of already purchased meds and has decided to add some things to the aresenol. Follistim being the major change and of course the MOST expensive. The forst quote I received was abround $1500 for the additional batch. I am trying to go through my old pharmacy to see if I get lucky again and this by some miracle is covered.
This entire process is just FILLED with road block and problems. I am trying so hard to take this in stride and chock it up to whatever it is it is. But I know as wonderful as my husband is this additional curve ball will be a sore point. And yes, I am already dreading having to tell him if my pharmacy cannot preform the insurance-coverage miracle!
Pharmacist just called....he is dilligently working on it. I should know something I guess soon. And really in the scheme of things this is really the least of my worries. Just when it comes to money and the husband.....well let's just say he is frugal!
I know there will be other issues, like taking off work. I will not really be able to give too much notice when we do the retrieval/transfer. I will need a couple of days I am sure during the stimming to trek 8 hours for the sonograms to make sure my little eggies are getting ripe. Just trying to work it all out in my head. I seriously have to keep reminding myself that I have ZERO control over this process. I need to trust the Dr trust science trust the universe. AND LET GO! Then and only then will I get through this.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Well it dawned on my that this IVF is also along those lines. This has to be so hard for him, probably more than I will ever know. Hard that we are in this place, hard that we have to spend the money....all of it. Yet he is doing this and I assume because he knows what it means to me.
So for that I am forever grateful and more in love today than I have ever been. I do not think many people can say that. I for the first time realized that no matter what happens we will be ok and make it through this no matter what.
Maybe someday I will show him this.....I hope he knows what he means to me. I do try and show it every day, that he is loved and appreciated. He is so very precious to me.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
I arrived at 10:30am, the office was very easy to find. tastefully decorated and cozy. I was comfortable right away. I met with the IVF nurse, the Dr the financial director everything all set. They did a sonogram my antra-follicle count was 28. The nurse said this was great not too many and not too few. Too many and you do not get good quality, too few well you know. No babies. So 28 is the pool in which we will feed from. I started birth control pills last night and my next appointment will be the 29th of May. At this appointment Saline sonogram checking the uterine cavity for polyps and cysts on the ovaries. As long as everything is clear we go on to Lupron.....that for 10 days then onto stims!!! Holy sh*t this is happening! We are looking at retrieval around second or third week in June. All in all this process will be 6 weeks. I will be praying alot!!! So stay tuned it will be getting interesting!!!
Thursday, May 14, 2009
So I think this blog will be getting one hell of a workout the next 2 months! Cheers!
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Oh the irony!
Friday, April 24, 2009
Of course until the moment i am in my car driving to this appointment it will not be totally real.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Senate Bill 169 would restrict doctors' ability to perform IVF in accordance with best medical standards. Here are the key provisions:
- No more than 2 or 3 eggs could ever be fertilized in a cycle; if a woman produced more eggs, they still could not be used.
- Only 2 embryos could ever be transferred to the uterus, unless the woman is age 40 or over (then a max of 3).
- No extra embryos could be cryopreserved. If they are created, they have to be transferred.
- No financial relief, such as insurance coverage, is proposed to help with the added financial burden of using less effective treatment. Patients will still have to pay out of pocket for less effective treatment..
- Bans all financial compensation for donor gametes, such as egg donor, sperm donor, or embryo donation, which would reduce the pool of available donors in Georgia.
I just cannot even wrap my head around what this could mean if it does get passed. results tomorow.......
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
My IVF nurse called yesterday and we talked for a bit. I explained I wanted to start back up again BUT I might have to postpone again depending on certain things (husband). So I am to call with the start of my next menses which will be Sun/Mon so I would go back on the birth control pills...start drugs on March 23rd. This would put retrieval at around April 13th or so. So we will see what happens. So we have 3 weeks to get our 2 appointments complete. I still have no answer on any of this but I am going to just keep on planning. Ther is no reason not to. None what so ever. Oh wait the economy is bad....there you go there is the reason.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
So the husband had some encouraging news yesterday....he was talked to by his boss regarding future plans and where he fits in the scheme of things. There will be another pay cut but we will be ok. That will not be until July, when he told me another pay cut I completely shut down. in my mind all I could see was another reason he would not want to go through with this. BUT...much to my surprise he had some encouraging thoughts about it. AND it could possibly be that we can pick up where we left off next month. I am hoping I can get a more solid confirmation but he seemed to feel more at ease with his place in the company and there is a job for him and that was what we were waiting for. I say we need to do this and get it past us either it works or it does not and I Can move on emotionally either way. I feel better than I did yesterday, now I just need a committment that this is a go again....and maybe just maybe there is some light at the end of the long dark freakin tunnel!!!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
As far as work, the company has 7 other companies under it's umbrella and we are being used for them. The postponement just gives us room to make sure we are not with out jobs if I were to get pregnant. Being pregnant with out insurance would be NOT an OPTION, it is the responsible thing to do. It sucks being responsible...but I would rather do this then put ourselves in a financial nightmare! Patience, and one day at a time. So once again the Blog becomes boring for a while....I was hoping to start the "fun stuff" the RE visits and what not. We do have the psyche visit on Saturday still so there will be more to report! So for now we are in a Holding Pattern....
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Bette (like as in Bette Midler): Jeanine, I have the total of your meds, I am happy to say I was able to get everything covered and your total is $219.80.
Me: Do you have the right number?
Bette: Laughs....yes, Jeanine Stehr, right?
Me: Really? Are you sure? BCBS??? $219.80? Really? Are you sure Jeanine Stehr?? YOU MADE MY DAY!!!
Bette: Laughing louder.....I am so glad! The last girl hung up with me crying her bill was $4,000. I am so happy I could make your day!
Bette and I are now long time friends...my meds will be delivered today so expect the obligatory
"IVF Meds Picture" in tomorrow's post!!
Monday, January 5, 2009
Another milestone....my brother left for the Navy today. I am filled with nothing but hope for him and his future. He and I have been through a lot and to see him accomplish this, is nothing short of spectacular. Of course I will have it in the back of my mind how he is doing, but I never again will worry if he is OK. He is free to start his life and I am so proud of him.
The last milestone....my IVF nurse called today all appointments are set and we are beginning!
The calender looks like this:
1/14- Meeting with Dr sign consents, Saline Sono for me, BW for him.
1/17-Meet with counselour
1/19- Start lupron
1/30- Baseline Ultra Sound
1/31- Start Stims!!!
2/13- Tentative egg retrieval (or ER as we in the infertile world call it!)
Egg Transfer or ET will be anywhere from 3-5 days. after that If it is 5 day transfer that could be fantastic...they say 5 day transfer is a great place ot be. Time will tell.....and more about that when we get there for now one day at a time.
Holy cow is all I can say.....time will tell.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
"Trust your Heart
For so long you relied on your head. Now it's time to make shift-the great leap into your heart.
Are you beginning to see how your head gets in the way? How it creates so much noise? The chatter the limited vision, the fear? Are you beginning to see what you have relied on-your intellect, your assessments, and sometimes logic have complicated your life?
.....The heart sees clearly. It balances the mind and emotions. It takes what is real processes it into truth, then into action."
-"Learn to listen to your inner voice. Listen to your heart. It's your connection to God, to people, to the universe, to yourself."
See what I mean?? That is what I need to do, trust my heart, trust my body (that it will know what to do when it is called upon) and most of all trust the Dr, that I do not know more than she does!!
Friday, January 2, 2009
So with that I am totally ready to see where this journey leads me, I think it will be a great soul search as well. Can I come out the other end OK? we will see. I started "the pill" Wednesday night and I am about to leave "the message" for my IVF nurse......and so it begins!