Tomorrow

Tomorrow is my 35th Birthday. A number I have been dreading for several years. In all the statistics you read 35 is a fertility marker for women. A marker of time, of what time is left. And as much as I worried endlessly about would we or would we not have children, I worried more about this number. Because of what it symbolized to me. And like all other holidays "would I be pregnant this year during my birthday?" game would be played. Well this year could not be more special. I feel like I beat the odds and I am a success story in the making. That yes, you can! And I am!

It does not come easy, the worrying never stops. Is everything ok? I don't feel as nauseous as I did yesterday, what does that mean? Is my stomach changing? It is a constant battle to keep these thoughts from taking over. I thank God every day for another pregnant day and pray that little bubs is doing ok. I used to go on and on about how I wanted a boy. Now I don't even care, I just want healthy....me and bubs. I am going t throw the worrying away tomorrow and just enjoy my 9 week 4 day tummy!