Monday, January 26, 2009

Roller Coaster

Well, I guess you can tell by my lat post I had a bad mental day. That is just the roller coaster if infertility, good days bad days. Days when you can take it and days you just cannot. And that was one of those days. We have decided to put thing on hold a little longer than previously thought. And that is just so we know what is going on with work. Hopefully things will be ok and we can move on. Nothing I can do but wait and see. Something that occurred to me though during this break was what about adoption? Why not? Do I really want to mentally f-myself with this IVF? Because that is what it is. $17,000 and no guarantees a better percentage chance of getting pregnant but no guarentees. But adoption you get something in the end, GUARENTEED. And how can you argue about loving a child that is already here? Needing love and a home. My concern is can my husband love a child that is not his? I know I can, I know I can get over all this and love any child I am given no matter how we come to be blessed with it in our lives. I just wonder can he? Something to think about and something to talk about. But for now February is a much needed break from the entire process and a mental health month. Starting the gym again and looking forward to going into the Spring healthy. That is my goal right now. Let's see if I cna put everything else out of my mind.......the roller coaster.

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