New beginnings.....I think that says it all really. I know that with every ending of something there is a new beginning. A journey that teaches you things along the way. What have I learned so far??? Patience, and to appreciate what is around me, my home my husband, how fortunate I am in so many other ways. I have come to some great crossroads here I think. On New Year's Eve rather then filled with all the usual feelings I have had in the past..."this is the year we have a child", I was filled with great peace. I can honestly say I have never felt that before. I felt calm, and I think this will be key going forward. I think I will be able to get through and handle what ever is to come. I think I am so tired of revolving my every thought around the children I do not have that I am finally ready to let it all go and I know this is not something I can control. It is up to a very mean Mother Nature, sometimes I really do not like her. But maybe we can be friends after all. She does give me so many other things that I Cherish.
So with that I am totally ready to see where this journey leads me, I think it will be a great soul search as well. Can I come out the other end OK? we will see. I started "the pill" Wednesday night and I am about to leave "the message" for my IVF nurse......and so it begins!