Feeling better.....

I think I am in a better place than I was yesterday. I had an amazing talk with my FIL this morning outside on our deck. It is probably my favorite thing to do when he comes fro a visit, we get our coffee and sit outside and talk. We talk about so much and for so long one of us always ends up shedding a tear. And I feel so much better, I spoke my fears and let them out and I feel so much better. I am on vacation and I am going to enjoy it!!!

Symptom watch: not that it matters or anything some cramping and I cannot breathe to save my life. I am so stuffy sans these lovely progesterone suppositories. And the Estrogen patches are itching the shit out of me. It will all be worth it.....please let there be something cooking in here 8-(

And Still They Grow......

Today was a BUSY day! Got the Doctor's office, left the house at 5:45 am. I got there at 10am my stomach in knots. Just hoping something grew over night. So, my friend the sono wand and I got familiar once again. And I met with the Dr today too! The elusive Dr! He told me I have 10 follicles!! So happy. Sizes 15, 16,16,16, 18,18, 19 I think I missed a couple because that is only 8.
Dr said that of the 10 he would expect 7-or so eggs. He also said that if that were the case he would ICSI them all and call me on Friday for a fertility report.

We can expect transfer Saturday, Sunday or Tuesday. I would be a big fan of not having to take another day off work that is for sure. I can not believe it is here, finally here. All my hopes and dreams hang on these next few days. I feel mysteriously calm. I think because I know I have absolutely no control of this situation. I am hoping for the best. So far nurse and the Dr seem to think everything is going well, slow ans steady wins the race....quality over quantity.

Trigger tonight, retrieval is Thursday morning. Grammy, Dad send me a baby. I have been so patient. I want to be a Mommy. I want to give all my love away and see my husband in his eyes. Send me an angel/angels. Miss you both.

Another Road Trip

Sono this morning revealed not enough growth. The sizes on the Right if I can remember ranged from 12-15 and the Left 18, 17, (2) 16, 15, 14 an entire range but not large enough. So one more day of stims and back to North Carolina again tomorrow for another sono, meds teaching and pre-op prep. Retrieval is Thursday. So this is not devastating or anything just really kills me missing so much work. I am using vacation days but it still is a little stressful to be gone 3 days this week.
I am trying to relax but my husband has already stirred the pot on that one. I just keep saying to myself that this will all be over soon and no more missing work. ( We are laying a bunch of people off this week so it is really un-nerving to miss any work this week.)
I emailed my boss and all he knows is I am having an in office surgery procedure I am sure that will be fine. Gee whiz....can you tell I am Catholic?? DO I carry enough guilt around or what???
Hopefully a better update tomorrow!

And the Total is......

14!!!! I had my sono today and I have 14 follicles that hopefully will ripen into some mighty fine eggs! Nurse said I am responding to the meds wonderfully and I am right on track. For the record....
Right Ovary:
4 Follicles -sizes 11,10,10,10

Left Ovary: (Working over-time for Team Baby)
10 Follicles- Sizes
12, 12,10,11,9,12,12,12,13,10

That is impressive! I guess that is why I feel like I am carrying around 2 bowling balls. They will grow to about 18-20mm and then they are ready to go. In fact I am going back Monday morning for the last sono. Nurse thinks I will be ready to trigger (ovulate) on Monday night no shots Tuesday YAY and then retrieval on Wednesday! I cannot believe this will be over in 4 days!!! This really is better than I hoped for I was prepaired for anything and I think that helped. I have also been SO GOOD eating wise and laying off the beer (so hard to do in the summer on the boat but it is for a good cause ha). So that is it. One major hurdle has been cleared. The next will be to see how many are actually viable eggs. I know 14 does not really mean 14 I am prepaired for 75% to be usable and of those 50% will fertilize. I think if I keep level headed and realistic anything more will be a BONUS!! Now I am off to put my feet up, Ovaries are sore!

Let The Bloating Begin.......

Meds have kicked in, feeling so craptacular today! Stomach is making all kids of gurgling noises like it is alive. I am not hungry, ate cereal for breakfast and felt worse. Pretty bloated, just feeling like I ran out of room in there or something. I am anxious for tomorrow's sonogram. It will tell a tale, a tale of how I am doing stimulation wise and what we have to work with. I would have been on stims for 7 days and on average it is a 9-10 day process. So we should see some good numbers tomorrow. Fingers crossed.

I have been eating all Organic this week. And whole dairy, eggs=eggs. So I stocked up on the Eggland's Best. Trying to be real good, drinking my powerade. Not much else I can do at the moment but hold my breath until tomorrow! Oh please, please,please let there be some good things going on in there!!!!

Meds Update

So I am 4 days into what I like to call the "hard core" shit. And so far so good. I am keeping track of how much water I am drinking, very important to stay hydrated. I do not feel anything yet, except for gas and an upset stomach. Friday will be the BIG reveal to see what is going on in there and what is growing (or not). My antral follicle count was 28 so let"s all cross our fingers that some of them are growing nice and plump. This mooring I imagined my ovaries like big grapes on a vine getting all plump and juicy. I have to think that positive imagery and energy will only do me good. I feel more positive than I ever have before (thank you Zoloft for getting me through this). Ha!! Now my secret is out, stay calm compliments of Zoloft ha!

So I will breath easy after Friday's appointment, Nurse Ratchet will be able to give me an idea of when retrieval will be after seeing how I am responding to the meds.
And a recap on the meds:
6/15/09-6/26/09:
10cc Lupron

6/27/09-?
Morning:
.5cc Lupron
150 IU Follistim

Evening
150 Follistim
Prenatal Vitamin
Tonight will be my last PM shot then I am down to just morning shots. Unless Friday finds me not responding to the meds and I might be back. We will see!!!!