15 Weeks

I cannot believe it is 15 weeks already. It is like it is flying by but going slow at the same time. I definitely look the part right now. I cannot keep my hands off myself these days. I have to rub, like making a wish on Buddha's Belly.

On Wednesday I woke up at 2am with some pain in the lower right side, and it was not going away. By 9 I was concerned. I called the OB's office and asked if they would see me Wednesday instead of today. They got me in within the hour and I saw the midwife, I told her about the pain and started looking for the heartbeat. Tooak a couple of minutes but she found Bubsy....lower right side! And I told her it felt almost like an ovarian cyst pain, and she laughed she said," the baby found a toy to play with your ovaries! " And after that I been feeling movement ever since. Mainly at night. So beautiful and amazing. I get dizzy thinking about how my wildest dream is just about to come true!

Tiny Miracle

About the size of a plum....as precious as precious can get. I am in love already and have not yet even met the little miracle inside me. I talk to my tummy every morning and I thank God and then I thank little bubs for hanging around. I tell my bubs to keep growing healthy and strong because you are much wanted and much loved already. I cannot even imagine what it might be like to hold little bubs someday. It seems like an eternity sometimes and then it seems like a blink of an eye and I will strain to remember being pregnant.

I tell you what though it is not all easy. Headaches, tired, moody, hungry, nauseous, swollen......all things I welcome with open arms. I am sure Mr. S could tel you a thing or two about hormones and how crazy they have made me......hee hee. I have gotten better though. Tomorrow starts 13 weeks the final week in the Frist Trimester. I am so blessed to be here and will not take one second for granted. (No matter how lousy I feel.) 27 weeks left.....not a long time at all.

Anatomy scan is in November, that is the next time I get to see bubs. But I will get to hear a heart beat on Oct 9th my next OB appointment. So that will give me some reassurance for a while.

I am also excited because my girlfriend at work just told me she is pregnant and due the same week as me! She kept it this entire time a secret because she said she did not want to steal my spotlight. I was so touched by her thoughtfullness. All though I would have been elated anyway....I hope I do not come accross as someone who is needy like that. I think she is just nice like that though. So now I have a partner in crime! We talk baby stuff every day. And looks like maternity leave will be the same time so we both have someone to hang out with when the time comes! I was seriously starting to think how lonely I would be, all our family is in New York. So this make is a little bit easier!

Family......where to start. So my Sister-in-Law is also pregnant and due the same week as me. And I really tried to embrace it and befriend her and use it as an oppurtunity to become closer. but I realize now that it will not happen. There is just too much back story for just this little blog. Bottom line is I have made every attempt to contact her and keep in touch and nothign works. So why bother continue to get hurt by someone. I feel bad it is my husbabd's sister. But I am not going to intentionally let myself get hurt by her. I wish we were closer but she chooses to not have a relationship. It has also been brought to my attention that she has said that if my in-laws come to visit me and the new baby she will be pissed. Pissed because she has two kids already and will need help while she has the third. What balls right? We have worked so hard to have this miracle and it is our first and that is the person she is. So guess what, not bothering with her at all. After all, I have a little miracle growing and I need to think happy thoughts and not be stressed by the likes of her.

End on a hppay note.....look back at the picture....awe!

Precious Sounds

Today was my 11 week check up and I got to hear the babies heartbeat. Probably the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. I was so excited I forgot to ask what the heart rate was, but I called and left a message with the nurse to let me know. It was a fast visit really nothing else was done. i thought I would get an internal exam, but no. Which is fine by me! So far things are going great and I am thankful ever single day!

Might be time to turn this into a pregnancy after infertility blog!!! And god willing...a Mommy after pregnancy after infertility blog!! Baby Dust to all who need it! My thoughts are with you that there is an end to your journey!

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is my 35th Birthday. A number I have been dreading for several years. In all the statistics you read 35 is a fertility marker for women. A marker of time, of what time is left. And as much as I worried endlessly about would we or would we not have children, I worried more about this number. Because of what it symbolized to me. And like all other holidays "would I be pregnant this year during my birthday?" game would be played. Well this year could not be more special. I feel like I beat the odds and I am a success story in the making. That yes, you can! And I am!

It does not come easy, the worrying never stops. Is everything ok? I don't feel as nauseous as I did yesterday, what does that mean? Is my stomach changing? It is a constant battle to keep these thoughts from taking over. I thank God every day for another pregnant day and pray that little bubs is doing ok. I used to go on and on about how I wanted a boy. Now I don't even care, I just want healthy....me and bubs. I am going t throw the worrying away tomorrow and just enjoy my 9 week 4 day tummy!

First Looks!

On Friday my husband and I got our first glimpse of our little miracle! Out of 12 eggs, 10 mature, 4 fertilized, 2 made it to 8-9 cells and one potential frozen this is our little miracle. I have since found out that we in deed did not have anything to freeze. And I found that out by my fee being returned. And I am totally ok with that, because we had one special little fighter. We saw a heart beat as well and I cried like I have never cried before. I had only dreamed of this moment and never really thought I would be one of the lucky ones. But I am, my OB even joked that this was the "Platinum Baby" he has no idea....I have already started calling he/she "The Golden Child". This baby will be so loved it is no joke. My Mom is already making her move to Georgia. She is selling her condo, bought a car and is going to tie up loose ends and will be house hunting soon!

I am still on cloud nine and I hope it does not stop. I am seriously concerned about a fibroid on top of my uterus but the doc is going to watch it closely. My next OB appointment is Sept 11th, next Ultra Sound is Sept 20th. I feel so much more at ease right now, the last thing the Dr said was that at 8 weeks seeing a heart beat miscarriage was around 1%. I will take that....99% chance everything is perfect. I still can remember seeing the littloe arm buds and that magic flickering of the heart. I can't wait to see him/her again, I am in love already.

6 Weeks 3 Days.....

So far so good. The worrying has subsided, the morning sickness down to a minimum. Today I am uber-dizzy but other than that just letting time tick on by. My first OB appointment is next week and I cannot wait! For now having fun thinking about nurseries and little feet. Trying to eat well too. These first few weeks are important so just trying to behave. Every once in a while it hits me that I am pregnant and I get all happy inside. And it turns out one of my Sister-in-Laws is pregnant also. So I have a partner in crime. Hopefully it will be fun being pregnant with her.

It truly is so surreal to say to myself....."You're Pregnant!". So far enjoying every second!

5 Weeks 3 Days and Counting......

Everything is going pretty smoothly. I feel like I have to wait forever and a day for my Ultrasound, but I am not having any signs if anything is wrong. So I am hanging in there and just trying to enjoy the ride. Every now and a again I get a little anxious are things ok? Is everything on track? I am doing good though, trying to stay centered and just enjoy everything. I bought my first Maternity clothes to get me by for now. I am so bloated things do not fit anymore, I cannot button any pants and my work skirts won't zip! I have waited for this my ENTIRE life and I am having so much fun dreaming about what the next 9 months will bring. 19 more days untul my forst OB appointment....I can't wait!!!